by Admitting love to yourself can be confusing and painful, but it rarely happens overnight.
One day you might wake up and notice that something feels different. Over time, the spark that once felt effortless takes work. Conversations are more like checklists and the excitement of being together has slowly become routine.
According to an expert, there are several clear signs that an emotional bond is faltering. However, it’s important to point out that none of these signs by themselves necessarily mean that you’re falling out of love.
“Relationships naturally go through phases, periods of connection and disconnection, times when you feel close and times when you feel less close,” BACP registered psychotherapist Ayo Adesioye tells Yahoo UK.
“Especially as the relationship matures, you move past the honeymoon phase and become more comfortable together. It’s really important to remember that these changes don’t always mean love is fading. There are many other factors to consider – stress, work pressures, children, health, aging parents and general life routines. So context is key.”
“The most important thing is to notice how consistent the feeling is. If it occurs over time and in different contexts, it may be a sign that something deeper is going on.”
From growing indifference and irritability to a lack of intimacy and shared goals, here’s how to know when it’s more than just a difficult phase.
If you constantly face these issues in your relationship, it could mean the end. (Getty Images)
1. Indifference and apathy
According to Adesioye, one of the biggest warning signs is indifference.
“This is when one partner begins to show a lack of interest in the other: their day, their thoughts, ideas, feelings, or challenges,” she explains.
“This often manifests as general apathy – no excitement, passion or enthusiasm for the relationship, just a feeling of disconnection or emotional flatness.”
“The key is consistency and duration. A day or two of apathy is not unusual, but when it persists over a long period of time – and factors such as stress or life circumstances have been ruled out – it can indicate a deeper problem.”
2. Anger and irritability
Sometimes the opposite of indifference occurs in a relationship, such as strong negative feelings such as anger or irritability.
“Things that were once endearing to your partner may feel irritating or even off-putting. You may begin to harbor pettiness or argue over small things, leading to unnecessary conflict,” continues Adesioye.
“A key sign of problems is when partners stop trying to resolve these conflicts – without making any effort to compromise, reconnect, or move on from problems. Another indicator is a change in perspective: At the beginning of a relationship, couples tend to treat each other with generosity and affection, and to give each other the benefit of the doubt.”
When this turns into contempt and distrust and negative motives are suspected behind the other’s actions, resentment arises. Adesioye adds: “Every interaction is filtered through mistrust, which creates tension and discord.”
If you are often angry with your partner, there is a possibility that you have fallen out of love. (Getty Images)
3. Lack of sex and intimacy
A decline in sex and intimacy is another important sign. When one or both partners lose desire, feel put off, or engage in intimacy solely out of commitment, the emotional connection becomes weaker.
“It can also look like flirting or fantasizing about others or imagining life as a single with a feeling of freedom,” the psychotherapist tells us.
“Spending less time together—or not missing each other when you’re apart—can also be a sign of emotional withdrawal. Independence in a relationship is healthy, but consistently prioritizing others or outside activities over your partner can indicate a lack of commitment.”
Over time, this leads to decreased communication, with Adesioye saying: “When conversations become purely functional and you stop sharing your inner world – your thoughts, feelings and experiences – you move from a ‘we’ to an ‘I’.”
If you are no longer comfortable with your partner, this can cause problems. (Getty Images)
4. Communication becomes functional
Communication that once felt warm and natural becomes purely transactional, especially when you have children.
“They mostly talk about the things that need to be done, the chores, like, ‘Can you pick up the kids at this time?’ and other logistics and educational tasks,” shares Adesioye.
“It’s the feeling of withdrawing and no longer wanting to show your partner who you are, what’s important to you and what you’re up to.”
“It works both ways: you stop caring about what you’re doing, and then you stop caring about sharing yourself. This mutual withdrawal erodes the connection over time.”
5. Goals no longer match
Another sign, according to Adesioye, is when your goals and values no longer feel aligned.
“You stop thinking in ‘we’ terms and start going your separate ways. Compromise becomes difficult and shared plans for the future might feel uncomfortable or forced,” she shares.
“While some divergence is normal as people grow and change, persistent misalignment—particularly when avoiding discussing the future—signals emotional distance and disconnection.”
If you only stay together because of the children, the love is gone. (Getty Images)
6. Staying for the wrong reasons
Eventually, you may find that you are staying in the relationship for reasons other than love.
“I know this sounds a bit obvious, but many people stay in a relationship out of obligation or convenience, especially if a couple has been together for a long time and perhaps has children,” Adesioye concludes.
“I think it’s important to pay attention if it feels like an obligation or if you’re afraid of hurting or letting the person down and stay with them. If the relationship feels more like a duty than a choice, that’s often a sign that emotional love has faded.”
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